


(don't) wanna be where the people are

by impossibletruths



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Background Percy/Pike, Background Vex/Zahra, Costume Parties & Masquerades, Engagement, Established Relationship, Fluff, Halloween, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-30
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2019-01-07 00:51:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12222399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impossibletruths/pseuds/impossibletruths
Summary: Keyleth and Kashaw are invited to a costume party for Halloween. Keyleth is very excited. Kash is... not.





	(don't) wanna be where the people are

**Author's Note:**

> A thank you fic for [@broexplosionmurder](http://broexplosionmurder.tumblr.com) who is super supportive and wonderful and comes up with the best ideas (and bought me a ko-fi). 100% indulgent fluff where NOTHING TERRIBLE HAPPENS.

The invitation arrives on their front step mid-October, and he almost misses it in the effort to keep Mittens from getting out  _again_ , but then Keyleth goes, “ooh!” and he carefully removes his foot from the small orange envelope.

“What is it?” she asks, juggling a box full of honey and trying to lock the door at the same time. Kash scratches his chin.

“Probably a letter,” he replies, staring down at the offending scrap of paper.

“What does it say?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t opened it.”

“Kash,” she says with a look over her shoulder, that  _I know you’re fucking with me_  one she’s perfected in the past few months, so he bends down to pick up the envelope.

_Kashaw & Keyleth_ reads the front in looping cursive, only slightly marred by the imprint of his boot. He pries the lip open and scowls at the orange-silver glitter that puffs out. They’ll never get it all off the porch.

"So?” Keyleth prompts while he holds the offending, glittery letter at arm’s length. She’s managed to close the door and has settled with her chin on his shoulder, crate of honey resting awkwardly at her hip. Kash scans the letter.

“We’re invited to a party.”

“Really?”

“Yeah it’s like. Right there.” He points to the bit of text that says  _You’re invited to a party_  and Keyleth leans forward a little to read it herself.

“Vax and Gilmore are having a Halloween party!”

“That is what it says yes.”

“Oh! A  _costume_  party!”

Kash grimaces. “Yeah.”

“We have to go.”

“Do we though?”

Somehow she manages to let go of the crate long enough to hit his arm. “They’re our friends!”

“They’re  _your_  friends,” he grumbles, mostly because he refuses to admit he’s friends with anyone––besides Z, of course––but Keyleth ignores that, clattering down the stairs towards the car.

“It’ll be great,” she’s saying as she goes, and he trails after her. “We can do matching costumes!”

“No way.”

“Kash.”

“I’m not dressing up.”

Her reply comes out muffled as she crams the last case of honey into their already-brimming car. “But everyone else’s gonna be doing it!”

“And if they jumped off a cliff––”

Keyleth slams the trunk shut and crosses her arms at him where he’s leaning against the car door. “That was one time.”

“Pretty sure that’s still one time too many.” Not in the least because of the utter  _panic_  when Pike had called to say Keyleth had jumped off a cliff, but––

Well, anyway.

They put the argument aside for all the time it takes to get in the car and turn the corner, and then Keyleth turns to him with those goddamn eyes of hers.

“Kash,” she wheedles, and he’s trying very hard to watch the road. “Please? It’ll be fun. And everyone else will be dressed up too.”

“So?”

“You won’t look out of place. We can match! Just for one night.”

The light turns red, and he looks at Keyleth while they’re stopped at the intersection, all hopeful and excited and––

“Fine,” he sighs. “I’ll come to the costume party.”

He sort of regrets it all over again when he gets home Friday the 31st and finds something laying on the bed.

"Keyleth? What the fuck is this.”

She pokes her head out of the bathroom, hair still damp and hairdryer in her hand. “It’s your costume! Well, our costumes.” Indeed, there’s a blue and white dress lying on the bed next to whatever the fuck  _this_  is.

“I’m Percy?”

“What? No, you’re the prince!”

Kashaw picks up the white shirt, watching it drift slightly in the breeze through their open window. Definitely looks like something de Rolo would wear. “Seriously?”

She frowns. “What?”

“We’re like, Disney characters.”

“Yeah! You’ll be Prince Eric and I’ll be Ariel.”

“The Little Mermaid.”

“It’s a classic, Kash,” she says patiently.

“Isn’t she supposed to like, not talk.”

Keyleth’s frown takes on that dangerous edge that’s kind of really hot. “What are you saying?”

“You’re not exactly–– You know what, never mind.”

“That’s what I thought.”

She disappears back into the bathroom, and Kash looks over the billowing white shirt again.

It could be worse. At least he and Vax aren’t doing the–– Actually, no, he doesn’t want to remember that right now. Or ever. Disney is fine. Disney is  _great_.

(He never wants to see that much leather again.)

He’s lacing up the front of his shirt––it’s a  _really_  deep vee, okay, even Scanlan wouldn’t show off that much chest––when Keyleth steps out of the bathroom and she–– she––

"Wow.”

She looks like a princess.

God, he’s a sap.

“You like it?” She spins, and the dress flares out, and the enormous bow in her hair somehow stays put and she just. Look, he’s seen the Little Mermaid like,  _once_. But she’s perfect. She looks like she stepped right out of the screen.

“I–– Yeah. It’s pretty good.”

She beams and kisses his cheek as she sweeps through the room. Kash stares after her, laces of the shirt half-tied in his limp hands.

“Come on,” she calls from the kitchen, where the pumpkin cookies they attempted are cooling. “We’re going to be late!”

“Would that be so bad?” he calls back, but he finishes getting ready and joins her in the kitchen. The expression on her face makes him pause. “What?”

She’s staring at the cookie in her hand. “These are, uh.”

“What?”

“Just, uh, try one.”

She holds out a cookie. He takes it gingerly.

“What’s wrong?”

She just waves, so he tries a bite and––

“Jesus Christ.”

“Yeah.”

He only just manages to keep from spitting it out. “That’s.”

She’s nodding. “Yep! Yeah.”

He puts the rest of the cookie back on the plate. “Let’s just bring wine.”

“Yep, yeah, great idea.”

He dumps the cookies in the trash. Keyleth grabs the keys. They stop by the grocery store on the way to Gilmore’s and show up with a nice bottle of red.

“Are we sure we have to do this?” Kash asks one last time as they walk up to Gilmore’s house.

“Kash,” she says, drawing his name out.

“What? I’m just asking.”

She just steps up to the door and knocks twice, firmly. A moment later it springs open, Vax standing in the hall in a domino mask and a black cape. There’s a giant bat on his chest.

“You made it!” He grins wide and beckons them in. Over his shoulder he shouts, “You owe me, sister!”

Muffled obscenities drift back to them. Keyleth hugs Vax enthusiastically.

“Thanks so much for inviting us!”

“Course,” Vax says with his dumb, mopey smile. He clasps Kash’s arm when Keyleth lets go of him to wander deeper into the house. “Glad to see you too, Kash.”

“Yeah, okay,” he replies, already feeling dumb in his billowing shirt and knee-high boots. At least he’s not wearing a cape. He shoves the bottle of wine at Vax.

“Aw, you didn’t have to,” Vax says, winding deeper into the house, and Kash trails along as they enter the kitchen, where everyone is very loud and wearing some  _ridiculous_  shit.

Gilmore’s gone all-in as Dracula or something, down to the rich cape thrown over his shoulder and a pair of red contacts that only freak him out a little. Pike and Percy seem to be a farmer and a pumpkin respectively, though Pike has stolen Percy’s pitchfork. Grog’s a barbarian––same as last year, and every Halloween party the past five years if the Facebook pictures are anything to go by. Scanlan’s dressed as some eighties star or something, one with a bigass mustache. And Vex is dressed to match her twin in a blue and red costume, her own cape hanging behind her and a giant “S” emblazoned on her chest. She disentangles herself from a conversation with Pike and Grog to greet him.

“Kash!” She kisses his cheek, because the lot of them are way too touchy-feely. Kash puts up with it.

“Hi, Vex.”

“We’re so glad you came.” She leans in a little. “Zahra’s on her way,” she adds, like its a secret, and Kash feels himself relax a little. “She got held up at work.”

“What a surprise,” he mutters, because Z keeps terrible hours, and he extracts himself to grab a drink from Percy, who looks just this side of overwhelmed. Kash understands that.

The man eyes Kash’s costume. “Keyleth’s decision?”

“What gave it away?”

“You look very handsome,” Percy says, between placating and appreciative, and Kash finds himself wondering for the umpteenth time why all his girlfriend’s friends like hitting on him so much.

“You look... uh.” The straw sticking out to his flannel shirt really make it, Kash thinks. Percy’s expression goes mildly peeved. 

“Yes, well. Pike thought it would be funny.”

“Oh, it is.”

Then the doorbell rings, and across the room Vex shouts, “Tary!” and makes a dash for the door.

“Ooh!” says Keyleth, who has just materialized at his side with a plastic cup full of wine. Kash jumps. “Tary’s here!”

Who the hell, Kash wants to ask, is Tary.

Gilmore, to his credit, looks just as confused as Kash is.

“Someone you invited, love?”

“You’ll like him,” Vax promises. Gilmore’s eyebrow lifts in an elegant sort of disbelief, which is an expression Kashaw knows well, but Gilmore just shrugs.

“If you say.”

“Don’t be put off by his, ah, personality.”

“I will do my best. Though I did let the rest of you into our home, and I can’t imagine your friend would be any worse,” Gilmore says with a smile, and Vax leans up and kisses his cheek. Vex appears a moment later with the most well-coiffed man Kashaw has ever seen in tow. His mustache puts Scanlan’s to shame.

“Shaun, Kash,” says Vex, “this is Tary. Tary, Kashaw and Shaun.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” Tary says with an ornate bow. His costume seems to consist of a bedazzled velvet jacket and a crown. Kashaw raises an eyebrow.

“What is he wearing?” he mutters to Keyleth, who elbows him in the side.

“Be nice,” she murmurs into his ear, before abandoning him to hug the newcomer, and chatter bleeds back into the room. Kash finds a nice corner to hide in.

He loves his girlfriend, he really does, but her friends are... a little much. Or a lot much.

Eventually they migrate outside, and Kash drifts to the bar to scarf down a handful of cheese cubes where no one can see him.

“Enjoying yourself?”

“Immensely,” he replies to the pumpkin standing in the doorway. Pike moves over to sit in the chair next to him. The costume looks like it’s probably a pain to move around in.

“We’re bobbing for apples in the backyard,” she says, conversational.

Kash grabs another bite of cheese. “How’s that going?”

Pike laughs. “I’m no good at it.”

“Anyone fallen in yet?”

“Keyleth came close.”

“Of course she did,” he sighs, even though he thinks it was probably hilarious and it’s too bad he wasn’t there to see it.

“Well,” shrugs Pike. “She is a mermaid tonight.”

“I hate costume parties,” Kash says.

“You hate everything,” Pike tells him comfortingly, which is why Pike’s his favorite of the lot. “Come join us? I think Vax has some announcement he wants to make, and Zahra just arrived.”

“Zee’s here?” He hadn’t seen her walk in.

“She came through the back.”

He grabs one last cheese cube. Damn snack platters. “Alright, yeah. I’m coming.”

Gilmore’s backyard isn’t particularly large, but he actually has one, which is more than most of them can claim. They’ve set up a tub for apple-bobbing, where Grog’s knelt over, head and shoulders in the water. Near the door, Percy is trying and failing to pin a tail on a donkey while Keyleth laughs at him. Kash grins. That’s his girl.

And then there’s Z, sitting on one of the plastic chairs, Vex draped over her lap. She’s dressed as a pirate, eyepatch over one eye and tricorn hat tilted rakishly over her white hair. She waves him over.

“Kash, darling, you look wonderful.”

“It was Keyleth’s idea,” he grumbles, but his heart’s not in it. “Glad you made it, Z.”

“Wouldn’t miss it. Gilmore throws the best parties.” At the apple tub, Grog rears his head out of the water, apple grasped firmly in his teeth. Scanlan and Tary cheer.

“Yeah, this is really, y’know, banging.”

Zahra only looks a little pitying. Vex snorts. “Pike brought moonshine for later.”

“Thank god.”

Zahra looks like she wants to add something but Vax raps against the doorframe loud enough to grab everyone’s attention. “C’mere you lot,” he says, beckoning them towards the porch. “Shaun and I have an announcement to make.”

Kash shares a glance with Z and they both look at Vex. She shrugs.

“You’ve finally decided to redecorate?” Tary suggests, and a laugh ripples through them as they congregate on the porch. Keyleth slips her arm through his.

“Having fun?” she asks him, cheeks pink from the air and eyes bright.

“More or less,” Kash tells her, and she smiles and kisses his cheek.

“Told you so,” she murmurs, and he bumps her hip and swallows back half a dozen dumb replies about how much he loves her. Vax clears his throat and Gilmore steps up next to him. If Kash didn’t know better, he’d say they looked nervous.

“Right,” Vax says. “So. We’ve––me and Shaun––got an announcement.”

“And it’s not that you’re redecorating,” Scanlan supplies helpfully. Gilmore laughs.

“No, I’m afraid not.”

“Well don’t leave us in suspense,” Z says, and Vax looks at Gilmore with an expression so familiar Kash knows what he’s going to say before he even speaks.

“Shaun and I–– we’re getting married.”

No one speaks.

And then Vex  _shouts_  and launches herself out of Z’s lap to tackle her brother. Kash jumps.

“You dick!!” Vex yells. “You were supposed to tell me!”

“Ouch, Stubby, gerroff! I’m telling you now aren’t I?”

“Congratulations,” Percy tells Gilmore evenly as the twins roll around on the ground, yelling incoherently.

“Thank you, Percy.”

“That’s so wonderful!” crows Keyleth, jumping forward to hug him. Gilmore gingerly pats her back, but he doesn’t look put out by the twiggy redhead squeezing him. “Congratulations! I’m so happy for you.”

“Thank you, Keyleth,” he says with a warm smile. “We hoped you might do the floral arrangements.”

“Of course! Anything you want!”

Kash stays back a bit as Vex lets her brother up and the group circles around the happy couple. Champagne is brought out, and then Pike’s moonshine, and the sun sets and the moon rises full and orange on the horizon and Kash sits on the porch and breathes in the crisp air, fairy lights hanging around them, watching Z and Vex dance together while Percy and Pike do a lopsided twostep. Keyleth dances alone, mostly just swaying back and forth with her arms out, and is still the most graceful of them in his perhaps-biased opinion. He watches her over the rim of his glass.

Someone slumps next to him.

“Pretty nice out, huh?”

“I guess.”

Vax elbows him. “You could smile once, y’know.”

“I am smiling.”

“Sure.”

Kash takes a sip of his drink and looks at Vax through the corner of his eye. “Can I ask you something?”

The man looks to him, eyebrow raised.

"Why a costume party?” Vax grins.

"For the pictures.”

“Dick.”

He doesn’t deny it. Kash looks back at Keyleth. She’s roped Gilmore into a dance. They’re a handsome couple. Her dress swirls around her legs as she moves.

“What about you?” Vax asks.

“What?”

“You know,” he says, nodding towards Keyleth and Gilmore. “Are you going to...?”

Kash snorts. “Funny, Vax.”

“I mean it.”

“Sure.”

“Kash.” He twists his head to see Vax staring at him, uncommonly intent. “Seriously.”

Kash sighs and rubs his arm. “Dunno,” he says. “Most of the time I’m pretty sure she could do better.”

“She likes you.”

“I like her.” He doesn’t say it out loud very often. Vax does him the service of not saying anything. “There’s just... a lot.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.” The worst thing about Vax is that, now and then, he’s a really upstanding guy. Kash takes a drink.

“Well,” says Vax quietly. “You ever ask her, you’ve got our blessing.”

“Oh? You’re speaking for the group now?”

He’s joking, but Vax clearly isn’t. “Yeah.”

“I’ll keep it in mind.”

Vax nods, claps his shoulder as he stands. “You’re an okay guy, Kash.”

“Don’t tell anyone. I’ve got a reputation to uphold.”

“Wouldn’t dare.”

He’s three steps from the porch when Kash says, “Vax.” 

He turns back. “Yeah?”

“Congratulations. I’m happy for you.”

He really shouldn’t be able to look that soft when he smiles. “Thanks, Kash.”

Then Vax joins the dancers in the yard, making a wide arc around Grog and Pike as they stomp together in something faintly resembling some sort of swing dancing. Tary seems to be trying to teach Percy how to waltz, or maybe vice versa. Kash watches in faint amusement. None of them are in time with the music playing from the nearby speakers. What a bunch of losers.

Vax cuts into Keyleth’s dance with Gilmore. She presses a kiss to each of their cheeks and takes her leave, and the two sway slowly together. Keyleth approaches the porch, still moving with that grace she has when she dances.

Then she trips stepping onto the porch. Kash snorts. Some things never change.

“Having fun?” he asks. Even in the faint flow of the fairy lights he can see the flush to her cheeks. She nods, hair falling into her face, and she pushes it away impatiently.

“You should come dance, Kash.”

“Not really a dancer, Keyleth.”

“Bet you’d be really good at it, though,” she says, slumping down next to him. He passes her his drink. It’s much emptier when she passes it back.

“Wouldn’t want to mess you up.”

“You don’t mess me up, Kash,” she tells him, painfully honest. “You always make me better.”

“Yeah, well,” he says, cause he can’t think of anything else to say. She reaches out for his hand and laces their fingers together.

“It’s okay,” she says. “We don’t have to. Thanks for coming anyways.”

“You look beautiful,” he blurts out, cause he’s been sitting on it all night. The bow has come out of her hair but she still looks amazing in the soft blue of the costume. Just like a princess. She grins.

“And you look very handsome. My very own prince charming.”

Kash snorts. “Hardly.”

“You are,” she insists. “Even if you don’t think so,  _I_  know the truth. But it’s okay. I won’t tell anyone.”

“Thanks.”

“So will you come dance?”

Kash sighs. Keyleth gives him her best  _c’mon, humor me_  face. (It’s the eyes that do it, all big and hopeful, and how can he say no to her?)

“Yeah, okay,” he says, and lets her tug him out of his chair. “It’s not my fault if I step on your toes though.”

“Fair,” she agrees, and drags him onto their makeshift dance floor. Vex and Zahra are giggling together as they dance. Scanlan sings along loudly to the song playing, and how he knows the lyrics to  _everything_  Kash will never know. Keyleth wraps her arms around his neck.

“Happy Halloween, Kash.”

“This is the weirdest Halloween-slash-engagement party I’ve ever been to,” he tells her. “Your friend are really weird.”

“Just tell me happy Halloween,” she tells him. He smiles, just a little.

“Happy Halloween, Keyleth.”

They sway together to the Monster Mash, and the night is crisp around them, and smells of pumpkin and beer and okay, so maybe coming wasn’t a terrible idea after all.


End file.
